I was talking to a friend recently and she was describing how busy she was, and all the things she had coming up in her week. She was at capacity. As she rattled off the list of things she had to do, I started to get curious. She had important phone calls to make, errands to attend to, and a significant meeting. But all of the things she described to me amounted to about 4-6 hours worth of activity. And she had a whole week to get these things done.
Our conversation helped me realise how in my own life a few hours work can feel like a whole lot more. And how overwhelming this can be. Having reflected on this, I've come to the realisation that time is only one of the resources we use as we get things done. We contribute emotional and intellectual energy too.
For example, I experience this when I fly internationally to speak and attend live events. My speaking engagement may only be one hour long. I can fly in from Ireland the night before, and leave the same evening that the event takes place, so it only amounts to one night away from home. Time wise the cost is minimal. Yet emotionally and intellectually the cost is far greater. A short trip can feel like a major upheaval in my week. It's only one hour of work, yet it can feel like two or three days.
In other words, we might tell ourselves that we are 'too busy' to do something, when a more accurate statement might be: 'I don't have the intellectual energy for that right now' or 'That tasks requires more emotional energy than I have available'. This also means that all the time management in the world won't matter a jot if the resistance is emotional or intellectual.
Resistance stops the flow of energy. Resistance is the cause of stress. Resistance is like trying to drive with the brakes on. When you stop the flow of energy, you stop action - or you require tremendous amounts of energy to enable action.
You can push the gas pedal harder and harder, but as long as the brake is on it is difficult to move. And if you do move - and even if you make it to your goal - you have put great strain and stress on your engine. This often results in physical and mental breakdown.
Preparing for this newsletter is one of my favourite activities of the week. In this area, I am relatively resistance free (although I've also got plenty of areas where I'm not resistance free!) It typically takes me about 20 minutes to complete. (When I first started out it took me about an hour - but I have assistants helping me out now:-). Even though the newsletter only takes about an hour to prepare, I've heard lots of people say that they couldn't possibly commit to writing a newsletter because they haven't got time.
I now realise that it's got nothing to do with time. Maybe they have limiting beliefs about their writing ability, or they doubt their ability to commit their thoughts to paper week after week, or maybe they are nervous about being 'out there'. Week after week they would have to push the gas pedal harder and crank themselves up to overcome this emotional resistance, just to complete a one hour activity. The one hour activity would probably take 6 hours. 5 hours building themselves up to it, and one to actually write. And that would put strain and stress on their 'engine'. Sure they might have a newsletter, but at what cost? Me bleating on about the fact that it only takes an hour doesn't help them at all. We need to uncover the emotional cost and address that.
Have you ever been baffled by a colleague who kept telling you they were 'too busy' to complete what looked to you to be a highly simple task? Have you ever been frustrated by a client who was stalling for no apparent reason? Have you ever beaten yourself up for failing to get started on a project, or complete one?
In each of these scenarios, the obstacle was never time - or lack of it. Which is why attempting to coerce, coax or cajole your colleague, your client or yourself into any of these activities just won't work long term. The next time you hear someone (including yourself) say, 'I haven't got time', try to appreciate that what is really being said is 'I don't have the intellectual energy for that right now' or 'That tasks requires more emotional energy than I have available'. That awareness will elicit a more compassionate response to yourself or the other person.
Superconductivity is a great metaphor when we come to consider resistance. Superconductivity is a scientific description for when an electrical current travels with the minimal amount of its power lost to energy-robbing resistance.
My personal experience, and that of my clients, has taught me that there are two sides to becoming a Client Magnet. The first part is about recognising, reclaiming and honouring our natural magnetism and having the courage to let it shine. The other side of this is identifying and eliminating those places where we are resisting success, ease, and abundance. In other words, we need to become super-conductors. Free of resistance, it is possible to attract great things with ease and effortlessness.
One way to do this is to increase our capacity for intellectual and emotional stress. Time and energy invested raising these thresholds may yield far greater returns than the energy currently being expended to push past them.
So how do we 'raise our thresholds'? Well here's a start....
Something for you to think about this week:
• You know that stuff that you're beating yourself up for not starting or not finishing? Trust yourself. Somewhere inside you knew that forcing yourself would put a strain on your engine greater than you could bear. You aren't lazy or procrastinating, and this is NOT 'self-sabotage!'
• Identify areas in your life where you are most 'resistance-free'. What do you love to do? What do you find easy to do?
• What are the main differences between the situations where you experience resistance, and those where you are 'resistance-free'?
• Explore some of the different technologies which help you release resistance.
Bernadette Doyle is a marketing specialist who helps entrepreneurs become client magnets and attract a steady stream of their ideal clients. She publishes a free, weekly newsletter for trainers, speakers, coaches, consultants, complementary therapists and solo professionals. If you'd like to receive invaluable tips and advice on how to attract clients with ease, register at http://www.clientmagnets.com
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